I
made my husband retake this photo a bunch of times and that process went something like...
“No, don’t squat to take the photo or you’ll show my double chin.”
“Ugh. Redo. I look like a tired Mom.”
“You are a tired Mom.”
“I know but I don’t want to look like one.”
Finally, he said, “Just so you know, you look good in real life.”
😐
So I went ahead and chose a tired Mom version with the shirt that I LOVE but just so happens to be puffing out due to the clasping (wringing) of my hands to make me look pregnant -which I am not.
But this does underscore the point of this blog today which sometimes unfortunately motivates our health journeys...
“I am not...
thin enough
Pretty enough
Fit enough
Strong enough
Liked enough
Noticed enough
Good enough”
Even when I was in my best shape (qualifier: *my* best shape), I lamented not having a flat, toned tummy and the number on the scale was never low enough.
I was not enough in my head even when I knew my worth wasn’t rooted in any of this. And even though I loved having more strength, energy, and confidence, I struggled with wanting to achieve my idea of perfection and then be done.
This time, I’m changing my mentality to measure my success in losing weight by not weighing myself at all. I’m measuring my success totally on the changes I feel and by whether or not it seems my body is operating at an optimum level —whatever size that ends up being. Right now it’s not, I just had a baby, so I’m not too worried, but I do need to make sure my blood sugar has come down, for example, and there’s some recovery of those muscles that needs to happen.
Last night, I ate two small pieces of pizza because we have been swamped at work and home and were both exhausted. I felt sluggish today despite having more sleep than the previous night. I’m not blaming it all on pizza, but it probably wasn’t the best thing for me to eat and the change I perceived the next day seemed a step back in my level of energy, especially after making much healthier choices for two weeks.
In the past, I would have immediately weighed myself, inflicted upon myself much shame, probably taken a day to grieve and eat some more unhealthy foods and then try again Monday!
It has been nice these last couple weeks to free myself from the scale. I noticed a marked shift in my mentality. I ate something that didn’t make me feel so great the next day. What can I eat today that will make me feel better? I made better choices today.
I am happy to say that my clothes are not so tight, including the shirt I am wearing in this photo that I got from Stitch Fix (this is my referral code in which we each get $100 of free clothes if you use it-expires in 24 hours!)
I have more energy.
The bloat has gone down noticeably in all of us.
I need to start exercising but this month is so swamped with lots of high pressure things, that my expectation for myself is just to not sit around on the couch. Do something...vacuum, squats, push-ups, park further, game with kids, ping pong... one thing a day.
I’ll let you know how it goes!
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