I Got A Little Chubby

 I didn’t feel like I was making progress. I wanted to give up because it’s been SO SLOW!!! But just about every Monday through Friday I would drag my behind out of bed and go work out with my friend who is crazy enough to workout with me. She’s amazing and I couldn’t stick to this without her! Lord, may You always send us a buddy to support us in whatever we are going through!  All I’ve been doing is working out (ChaLEAN or PiYo Monday through Friday), drinking more water (still not enough), adding more protein, and eating in moderation.  Nothing is off limits, just eating smaller portions.  We’ve been doing eggs, protein, or yogurt and berries for breakfasts and salads for lunch this week with a normal dinner. We will see if that helps our family eating habits as a whole! 

 I’m posting these pics for progress’ sake.  I’ve been up 4:30am every single morning this week to workout with the strength training DVDs and this week the plan is to add the bowflex back in. I also am just generally trying to make better choices- Whole Foods, adding in protein, portion control.  Working out makes me want to be more active in general, so that’s helped! Deciding to workout is difficult because you’re too tired to workout, but if you don’t work out, you’re too tired!  But I want to share this amazing reflection that popped up in my FB memories from awhile ago, and that’s my update for the week! *** At Adoration a few minutes ago, I prayed, “Lord, please help me to get back to good health and strengthen me.” Right as my Holy Hour ended, I opened a book I brought called, “God is Not Nice” and it said that health fanaticism has become our new religion in some ways. The health of the body is important and Christians even go so far as to say it is not just...

 I tried. I replaced my scale and started daily weighing myself.I did great when the scale showed daily loss. But two days in a row it creeped back up. And.. I gave up.  I got so discouraged. I didn’t understand! I felt I was doing well, staying active and eating right. So, I decided to put the scale away again. Not out of defeatism, but because I realize I shame and internalize negative results and that’s self-destructive.  BUT The most amazing news of all.. I couldn’t get up early to get my work out in... too many (understandable) excuses to hit snooze: baby didn’t sleep, stayed up too late, etc. So, I posted in a Catholic moms group asking if anyone would be crazy enough to come work out with me at 6am. A woman responded saying that she couldn’t work out at 6, but she could work out at 5.  So we did it! Three days in a row, Wed-Fri last week, I got up at 4:30am, worked out, and made it through the rest of the day more productive than usual.  I am sooo thankfu...

 Bleh. I bought a new scale since our other one was drowned by my kids. I was down ten lbs!! But now back up three.  I had a rough week. I still have pain in my shoulder but it’s not unbearable, it just is exaggerated by sitting at a desk or doing computer work. We bought a standing desk thing for the office which will hopefully help. And it was a busy week, which meant less time to prep healthy meals and more throwing something together that was okay, but not filling and then I found myself hungry again and ended up eating probably more than I should have of my “better choices”.  Anyway. Down and back again. Really discouraged on how slow it’s taking me this time around to get back in shape. I felt really, really sad last week at my limitations and that my favorite pants still don’t fit.  But here’s to a better a week. 🙏🏼

 Howdy!  Bad news is I had to go to the doctor a couple more times to start getting some pain relief. Good news is I did get some pain relief finally and also every time I had to step on the scale (unfortunate that this is a requirement) it was a little lower. I finally replaced my scale and I am happy to report I lost five pounds since last Friday and I’m feeling less sluggish already!  I’m going to wait until I am a little better before starting back on more serious exercise but this is what helped me this week. I didn’t tell myself “no”, but I said “not yet, wait for Sunday”.  And then more often than not, the temptation to eat something unhealthy passed. Or, if I did eat something not so healthy (like a mocha from Starbucks) I said “nope, you’ve already had a treat today.”  Those little things helped.  Also, an incentive was eating better helped my inflammation.  I don’t want to have heart problems or back problems or things that are the result of ...

 Happy Easter! I am back after a long Lenten break from blogging as I was trying only to use my phone for work related things— mostly successful, weaned some screen addiction.  I paused the blog here so that I wouldn’t check back for comments. I *really* needed some separation from my phone. I’m considering giving up social media altogether, but I haven’t managed to figure out an easy way to cut the cord with so many friends in so many places.  But it’s good to be back, especially because I EPICALLY FAILED to do anything to get in shape. I tried to eat better, I really did. I did manage to do some light exercise. It was just so busy and when I’m overwhelmed I find an excuse to “treat” myself.   But I can’t afford a nice spa day, so I’ll take the pint of ice cream. And while I could only eat a little bit of the pint, I’d have to get more dishes dirty. And then the sink will be full of dishes that I will have to clean. It’s a vicious cycle.  And I know what you’re...

 I  don’t want to repeat the year 36– except for the birth of my youngest son! I’ll take him every day all day! He was the ultimate blessing of a very dark year. I struggled a LOT last year. You know when you are walking through your house at night in the dark to check on that “scary noise” — when everything in you is ready to become hysterical but your mind is like “no, no, you’re okay, everything is fine...” That sums up my year.  So when my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I asked for a really clean house. “Sure, hon, the kids and I —“ No. Not the kids and you.  I need a woman in this house. So this amazing lady was at my house all day cleaning and when she was done, I felt like I got a fresh start. Clean home, clean slate.  Asking for help (or saving up and paying for help) is self-care too.  ❤️

 I recently found this picture from when I worked really hard to get in shape —-three kids ago, in 2014. My daughter said, “Mom, you’re tricking us. That is NOT you.” My son said, “Mom, you never had muscles!!” 😑 I did... but not for long! 😂 It took me 8 months of daily dedication to Whole Foods eating and strength training.  I worked out this week for only one day.  I was so sore that I could barely move for four straight days!!! We are about to workout again today and I’m shooting for three days this week minimum. I am older now and have had more kids, but I’ve seen people get in shape with even more odds against them so... I’m letting their stories inspire me!  I did take a photo this morning but there’s literally no difference between this time and last time, so instead, I’ll leave this photo from when I *was* in shape as inspiration to take care of myself this week! 

  I have always, always struggled with self-image, and in particular, my weight. I finally realized in college, thanks to a friend, that this didn’t have to be something that just happened to me, but I could make some changes and feel better about myself too.  She and I began running every day around 5am for an hour (oh to have the energy of a college kid again)—And by “she and I began running”, I mean she smoked me and left me in the literal dust crying that I couldn’t do it. She told me, “Just keep going. Just walk if you have to. Just keep moving.”  Then she said, “Do you want to be fat forever?!” Um. Maybe.  Because this is hard.  And I don’t know if I can do it. But she held me accountable and I kept moving.  I will always have to keep moving and make better choices. It’s just the cards I was dealt that I gain weight very easily.  I’ve learned to try to be proactive when the clothes get tight because I remember how hard it was back then. And...it’...

 I didn’t want to blog today. I did terribly bad this week in eating healthy.  I tried to figure out why. Whyyyy did this week cause me to get so off track?! Now my joints hurt again and my inflammation is back.  Last week was MUCH more stressful emotionally. This week shouldn’t have been so rough.  Then I realized, because I am tracking my food and activity in a journal, the biggest trigger for me to give up on my good goals... Messy house. The house was a disaster. The kids destroyed their rooms which spilled into the living room and it was past the point where they can effectively handle it themselves. We had let the dishes pile up because we had some really busy days and the mess was overwhelming.  When the house is a mess, I feel a huge loss of peace and control and I am overwhelmed by work that has to be done. I don’t need a clean house to impress people. I need a clean house because when I look at my messy house, all I see is work.  Messy house trigg...

 I showed my husband my “before and after” photos (below) and asked if he could see a difference.  He said, “The difference is huge!” “Huge?!”  “Oops. Bad word choice. I mean.... you’re making positive strides.”  Haha BUT I am happy to see a small difference because, not weighing myself, I have no idea where I’m at other than my clothes have been fitting better and I feel better. This was a very emotionally stressful week that caused me to want to say, “I am stressed, let me eat ice cream!” But instead, I changed that thought to, “I am stressed, I need a break.”  I also started spiritual direction this week which really helped me mentally/spiritually as well. One phrase that my spiritual director said was, “Don’t pray how you can’t pray. You don’t have to pray like other people. Pray like you’re called to pray.”  I think I need to apply that to other areas of my life, too. You don’t need to diet like other people. Your house doesn’t have to look like other ...

 Next  week I will share updated progress pictures. Since our scale is defunct (thank you, children) I am hoping to compare photos and see some progress. I do feel a lot better, less tired and less tense despite the loads of stress this week and an infant who has kept us up.  This will be a short blog because it is late, but I wanted to share that upon looking up the nutrition info for Pea Crisps—a fun snack for munching—I learned a thing. Food density.  The article I was reading said that pea crisps have some good protein content but the problem with processed food is that it is dehydrated. Pea crisps are very light and will not fill you up. Consequently, you might accidentally eat the whole bag.  When I am very stressed, I am prone to mindless eating.  Today in the midst of trying to clean house and watch the kids while my husband was working on a project, I started to reach for those pea crisps and remembered that concept of food density... Instead, I at...

 I  made my husband retake this photo a bunch of times and that process went something like... “No, don’t squat to take the photo or you’ll show my double chin.” “Ugh. Redo. I look like a tired Mom.” “You are a tired Mom.” “I know but I don’t want to look like one.” Finally, he  said, “Just so you know, you look good in real life.” 😐 So I went ahead and chose a tired Mom version with the shirt that I LOVE but just so happens to be puffing out due to the clasping (wringing) of my hands to make me look pregnant -which I am not.  But this does underscore the point of this blog today which sometimes unfortunately motivates our health journeys...  “I am not...  thin enough Pretty enough Fit enough Strong enough Liked enough Noticed enough Good enough” Even when I was in my best shape (qualifier: *my* best shape), I lamented not having a flat, toned tummy  and the number on the scale was never low enough.  I was not enough in my head even when I knew m...

“Mom... Do you have another baby in your tummy?” Dang it, kids. Mommy’s pudge is partly your fault.  If I were to break it down...50% pregnancies and hormones and 50% lack of self discipline.  🤦🏻‍♀️ In other news, a friend sent me a book:  Instant Loss on a Budget  (half off on Amazon incidentally, and I don’t get money for saying this because I don’t know how to do affiliate links yet 😬). I just started reading it, but one line stuck with me... it isn’t so much eating healthy that is expensive but *dieting* that is expensive.  I’ll let you know any other insights as I start making my way through the book, but I can say off the bat it is why we chose not to do Keto again.  I loved the benefits I got from Keto. I lost weight really fast. I was a firm believer.  But the instant I couldn’t stick to Keto due to my travel schedule and staying with host families and being a good guest, I gained the weight (and then some) back FAST. Also, when my husband a...

This week, I decided to change one thing...  Avoid sugar.  Which is really upsetting.  Sugar is in everything. Everrryyyything. One serving of my favorite chicken salad from Costco has the sugar equivalent of 2.5 sugar cubes. (That is only 1/2 a cup worth of scrumptious chicken salad!!!) if it was 2.5 sugar cubes in, say, half a tub, I could (and probably would) justify it. But only 1/2 a cup!!!!! so long delicious chicken salad. 😭😭😭 You fooled me with the word, “salad”.  My favorite oatmeal has around 4 sugar cubes’ worth of sugar. When I imagine myself eating warm spoonfuls of white sugar, it’s not quite as appetizing.  All my “healthy choices” are a big fat lie. 😤 According to FDA recommendations, we should only have about 24 grams of sugar per day— that’s around 6 sugar cubes’ worth and to think I was getting that in before lunch is a bummer. Oatmeal is supposed to be HEALTHY because it’s not even that tasty!! 😭😭😭 Actually... a glazed donut had a litt...

 Hi. My name is Noelle. Last New Year’s Eve, I planned to start a blog called “I Got a Little Chubby” that would be all about my journey to get in better physical and financial shape over 2020.  But, New Year’s Day, we found out we were expecting baby #6. Oh yeah, then we spent much of the rest of the year in a worldwide pandemic.  So, I gained a lot more weight. And we racked up a lot more debt.  What a bust. (I did lose around six pounds in August. His name is Andre and he’s beautiful.) So, here we are at the end of 2020 and the start of a New Year. This time I have to do this. It’s time for change and I very much pray for the grace of self-discipline and the fruit of the Spirit that is self-control.  My kids are out of shape too and that’s my fault. But when you lose your job, which I did during the pandemic, you cut out all the fun activities. No more skateboarding lessons, dance class, martial arts, or Beachbody on Demand.  Just food. What can we rewar...